I'm halfway there!

Next Tuesday, 1st December, is the halfway point in my sixtyat60 challenge - and so I'd like to give you a quick update on my progress.

I'm quite chuffed to be able to tell you that to date I've completed a total of 27 tasks, with two more tasks lined up this week (bread/crab apple jelly making tomorrow followed by skating at Somerset House on Saturday - can't wait!)  And if I keep wading my way through War and Peace over the next 5 days (right now I'm on page 698 of 1316 so I have some midnight oil to burn), that means I will have ticked 30 tasks off my list by 1st December.  So it looks like I'm on schedule - juuusst.....

I do so appreciate everyone's support over the last six months - you've been fantastic companions on tasks, you've cheered me on at the sidelines and you've given me endless kind words of encouragement together with small doses of tough love where required. And to date I've received donations amounting to £1697 for Alzheimer's Research UK, which is amazing!!

In this last week of fund-raising for Alzheimer's Research UK, I'd like to introduce my lovely neighbour Di to you. Di knows first-hand what it's like to care with someone with dementia. When her husband John, a much loved local GP, developed dementia, she looked after him devotedly for several years. This is how she described her experiences to me.

'I was carer to my husband for three years whilst he suffered with Alzheimer's disease. Being alert and on hand for 24/7 was a tiring and very lonely experience as he confused night with daytime - he was active at night and wanted to sleep most of the day. 

It would have been so helpful if there had been some sort of support system to help the carer (me!) to have even one hour off duty, either to do the shopping, to sleep, or just to sit in the garden, knowing that someone would have been able to talk to and watch over him. The person with Alzheimer's is often in their own, perhaps unreal world, whereas the carer carries all the worries and responsibilities'.

During those years, I saw what an absolute star Di was in caring for John and she never complained about her situation. But I think her words convey very clearly the unremitting and exhausting impact of dementia within the family and draws attention to the importance of providing support for carers, as well as developing effective treatments to treat and prevent dementia. My justgiving page will continue to be dedicated to Alzheimer's Research UK until Saturday 5th December, at https://www.justgiving.com/Vivien-Hunot.Then for the remaining six months of my challenge, the focus of my fund-raising activities will shift from older people to children. More on that next week!

Now back to Natasha, Pierre and yet another war looming with Napoleon...........

     

Task 12: Visit a non-Western toilet in India

If you're recoiling in horror at the title of this post, then do please rest assured that I'm going to do my very best to write about it with a sense of decorum. However if you're starting to feel a little flushed and want to closet yourself away from reading about this task, I won't go loo-py - please don't pan my efforts though.

On with the story quickly before the puns get out of hand.....

How did this particular task get the green light? Let me take you back to a Sunday morning early in March when I received a phone call from Lucy. She sounded very animated.  'Mum!' she said, 'I just had to let you know that I've thought of the perfect Facing Fears task for you! You've got a holiday coming up in India haven't you? So I've decided you must go and visit a non-Western toilet whilst you're there'.  Honestly, that's offspring for you - we spend decades feeding, nursing, supporting and financing them and what do they do? Exploit our every little foible and weakness. Lucy knows very well that I'm phobic about visiting public conveniences (it's almost on a par with my fear of public speaking). But what can you do when your daughter throws down such a manky gauntlet?  Onto the Sixtyat60 list it went. 

It has to be said that Task 12 has elicited a mixed response. Some people have had the same euw response as me (thank you fellow phobics). Some have tactfully ignored it (my Radio Sussex interviewer Joe Talbot for one). Others appear to be thoroughly entertained and/or fascinated by it - Carol W went the extra mile and texted me a photo of a very fine looking low-level receptacle that she came across on holiday in Venice, which she thought might suit my needs (sadly it didn't meet Lucy's exacting standards). And a few people have taken a practical approach - my friend Judi for one. Judi travels to many developing countries in her work as a CEO of an international charity and gave me a great tip. 'When you arrive in Mumbai, use the toilet facilities in the airport' she said. 'It'll be a hole in the floor, but the surroundings will be nice and clean and you'll get the task over and done with. Oh and best not to wear flip flops' she added casually. 

Two weeks ago we arrived at Mumbai Airport with Judi's instructions echoing in my ears. I checked that I was wearing heavy duty footwear, took a very deep breath, braced myself and entered the nearest ladies convenience. Oh my goodness, I couldn't believe my eyes.....there in front of me was a set of luxury cubicles containing pristine high-spec shiny Western style loos. Turns out that Mumbai Airport opened a brand new terminal with all mod cons earlier this year.  I felt bizarrely disappointed.

'Never mind,' said Andrew who was waiting patiently outside the Ladies washroom armed with smelling salts and a purification pack (only kidding - actually it was a flask of brandy). 'We can always try Goa airport.' Good point Andrew! Two days later I repeated the whole process when we arrived at Goa Airport. Sinews stiffened, shoulders back, once more unto the Ladies public convenience......only to find another immaculate state of the art washroom facility. Foiled again. 

On reaching Goa, we became obsessed with sourcing a non-Western toilet. On the third day of our stay, we were strolling along the beach past various kooky-looking beach shacks and bars, when all at once a curious structure caught my eye. It was perched at a jaunty angle on the sand and seemed to be swaying slightly in the breeze. Definitely a species of non-Western loo!!

The scene was set. Now all I had to do was pay a visit to this curious structure. Andrew and I agreed that we would return the following day with cameras at the ready. That night I had recurring dreams of opening the loo door, seeing scenes of indescribable squalor and filth, slipping over.......let's not go any further. I didn't sleep well.

The next day dawned and we returned to the beach shack. Andrew positioned himself paparazzi-like in a discreet place overlooking the toilet. After checking my footwear (yup, robust pair of sandals in place), I approached the loo and walked gingerly up the steps. The structure wobbled a little. I reached the top, opened the door and stepped inside.......

 

And guess what I saw inside?  A very basic but immaculate fully functioning flushing toilet positioned on a floor so clean that I could have eaten chicken biriyani off it. Admittedly the walls were cobbled together from random bits and pieces of plasterboard - but they were clean walls!  Here's a small pic if you feel the need to inspect the scene of my finest hour in Goa. 

During the rest of our stay in Goa we didn't locate any non-Western loos other than clones of the beach design. So did I complete the task successfully? I think so because I didn't know when I walked into any of those washrooms what I'd find - and therefore I confronted my fears on three separate occasions. However Lucy is less convinced. 'You didn't see it through Mum' was her verdict.  Oooh she's a hard taskmistress my daughter. Hot off the press we've agreed on a compromise - I'm allowed to tick the box on this task, on the basis that I visit a portaloo when I do my 'glamping at a festival' task next May. And do you know what? I have a sneaking suspicion that a Western toilet may yet prove to be my nemesis. I'll keep you posted.....

I'm doing the sixtyat60challenge to raise funds for Alzheimer's Research UK. For further information or to make a donation please visit my JustGiving page at https://www.justgiving.com/Vivien-Hunot  

If you would like to follow this blog click here for information on how to do so

Task 53: Travel by tuk tuk in Mumbai

At the beginning of the year we booked to go to Goa for a 10 day holiday. We needed to fly with British Airways in order to use our air miles (a little obsession of Andrew's I should add), which meant we couldn't fly direct. The most obvious transfer destination was Mumbai.  

I shall now reveal a Hunot cock-up of epic ignorance and stupidity......One evening we began to talk about the idea of having a 48 hour stopover in Mumbai city. We wondered what we could see or do whilst staying there. I was a bit distracted as I was in the middle of writing a report. 'What about the Taj Mahal? Is it anywhere near Mumbai?' I said, hardly raising my eyes from my laptop screen. Andrew wasn't sure. I quickly googled 'Taj Mahal Mumbai'. Up came pages and pages of links to the Taj Mahal Palace and a plethora of descriptive terms such as 'stunning....beautiful...... historic........memorable....' Yup, it seemed to be located in the Mumbai region. I returned to my work and Andrew duly booked our flights and hotels in Goa and Mumbai around a day's visit to the Taj Mahal. Later on I added the task 'Sit in front of the Taj Mahal' to my sixtyat60 list and felt a little whoosh of excitement to have included such a jewel in the crown in the Travel Task section.

A few weeks later Andrew met up with a friend of his who happens to be a long haul BA pilot. He came home looking bemused. 'Rob says that the Taj Mahal isn't anywhere near Mumbai,' he announced. 'Of course it is!' I retorted, 'I checked on Google remember? Look....' and I typed in 'Taj Mahal Mumbai' again. It was only then that we both realised that the Taj Mahal Palace is ....er.......a very splendid historic five star hotel. The Taj Mahal is (as I'm sure everyone in the world except us knows) in Agra, North India.  Here's a little map just to illustrate the point. Note to self - act in haste....

And so it was that 'Sit in front of the Taj Mahal' came to be swiftly replaced by the rather more prosaic 'Travel by tuk tuk in Mumbai'.  And why this particular task?  Well, the image of a tuk-tuk just popped into my head (probably the subliminal influence of Slumdog Millionaire and Best Exotic Marigold Hotel) and it occurred to me that whilst Andrew and I have holidayed quite extensively over the years, we've never once stepped foot inside a tuk tuk. It seemed quite clear that it was a gap in our world traveller education that needed filling urgently. The Taj Mahal? So yesterday.

At this stage I must assure you that we took the tuk tuk task (try saying that quickly) every bit as seriously as its ill-fated predecessor. We arrived at Mumbai airport last weekend hot-wired for action. We hopped into a taxi and it wasn't long before we spotted our first tuk tuk or two.   

The roads were insanely busy and everyone was hootIng like crazy (as our taxi driver said 'Do not buy a car with a hooter that is broken in this city'). We were surrounded on all sides by tuk tuks weaving their way skilfully in and out of the traffic - surrounded, that is, until we crossed the amazing shiny new Bandra Bridge to the district we were due to stay in. In a flash all the tuk tuks disappeared. 'Where are all the tuk tuks?' we asked the taxi driver with some alarm. 'This is posh area" came the reply. 'Automatic rickshaw drivers not permitted - not educated.' Half an hour later we arrived at our hotel, feeling very sorry for the tuk tuk drivers and a little apprehensive for ourselves, as it seemed that we would have to re-enter an un-posh district of Mumbai to fulfil Task 53.

The next day we found ourselves another helpful taxi driver, called Sanjay, and explained our tuk tuk predicament to him. 'No problem Sir, Ma'am!' said Sanjay and without further ado he steered his taxi towards the Bandra district in search of an automatic rickshaw. We stopped at Victoria Station en route. It's one of the few fine-looking buildings that Mumbai possesses, and Sanjay insisted on stopping the car and photographing us as the traffic hurtled past just a couple of feet away.

Bandra district, 1130 hours. Andrew and I waited in the taxi whilst Sanjay entered into negotiation with (it has to be said) a slightly rough looking tuk tuk driver. Wheeling and dealing completed, Andrew and I stepped out of the taxi, clambered into the back of the tuk tuk and off we went. It was 38 degrees but the outside air acted as an effective cooling system as our driver hurtled through the streets at the rate of knots. He ducked and dived and hooted his horn constantly, and we experienced all the scents/odours and sounds of everyday Mumbai life, including the slum areas, street markets, roadside shrines, and cricket games, not to mention many bumps and potholes. The driver remained silent and focused throughout our trip and we sat in the back observing and absorbing everything around us. It was a memorable trip on many levels.
  

 

Half an hour later we were returned safe and sound to Sanjay. More wheeling and dealing took place between the two drivers. And then Sanjay drove us back to the relative tranquility and calmness of the 'posh' district, which in contrast seemed a little staid, although certainly not by European city standards.

So once again the sixtyat60 list has nudged me outside my comfort zone a little. And on reflection I think Andrew and I learnt as much about about India and Mumbai through a short ride in a tuk tuk as by visiting a beautiful but touristy attraction. Sanjay the taxi driver won't know that I'm thanking him for his help in this blog but I'll thank him just the same. And do you know what? I now have a strangely powerful urge to drive down Uckfield High Street hooting my horn......

I'm doing the sixtyat60challenge to raise funds for Alzheimer's Research UK. For further information or to make a donation please visit my JustGiving page at https://www.justgiving.com/Vivien-Hunot  

If you would like to follow this blog click here for information on how to do so

Task 25: Pay a visit to the Jerwood Gallery in Hastings Old Town, UK

When I first started boarding at Eastbourne School of Domestic Economy (it really did exist, promise - read my Dennis Sever's blog for supporting evidence) as an unworldly 16 year old, I was very homesick. So every Saturday I used to catch the bus to Hastings to visit my great-aunt Margaret, who lived in the quirky and charming old part of the town near the harbour. Aunt Margaret was the best Auntie ever - she exuded warmth, had a wonderful sense of humour, and was always ready to feed me up with GBBO-quality Victoria sponge cake, hearty soups and roast chicken dinners. I would return to Eastbourne at night-time feeling comforted and more than a few pounds heavier. Since that time Hastings has always held a special place in my heart. 

Forty-four years on I heard that Hastings Old Town now boasted a top-notch gallery of contemporary British art, and duly took note. Three years later the Jerwood Gallery navigated its way onto my sixtyat60 list like a fishing boat returning to port.

Hilary, my 'Tracey's Bed' companion and friend, declared herself willing to do a day trip from her home in Bedford all the way down to the South Coast to visit the Jerwood Gallery with me, an offer that both touched and delighted me.....touched because her journey would necessitate four hours and 3 changes of train each way, and delighted because we always have really entertaining discussions (if you've read my Tracey's bed blog, you'll already know that Hilary is very well read and informed about all aspects of culture, and that for my part I like to look for meaning in everything).

I duly arrived at Hastings Old Town last week to undertake Task 25, and was relieved to discover that it was still the characterful place I remembered from over 40 years ago (best perhaps to draw a veil over the rest of Hastings.....??) Down by the beach I found the Jerwood Gallery nestling amongst the fishermen's huts like an understated black pearl in an oyster (can black pearls ever be understated? Well, you know what I mean). And there walking towards the entrance at precisely the same time as me was Hilary - yes, indeed, Network Rail served us well that day.

The Jerwood Gallery interior was perfect for contemporary art - loads of space, minimalist design and bright white walls. Before we had even started viewing the two main exhibitions (Lowry seascapes and a collection on loan from Kettles Yard, Cambridge) we spotted one fabulous scene just by looking out of a first floor window - fishing boats of all different sizes lined up on the shore outside.

We moved on through the building to study the collection of Lowry seascapes, most of which were bleak and desolate. We learnt about Lowry's sense of loneliness and depression, as well as his tricky relationship with the art establishment. We especially enjoyed studying the painting below, not surprisingly called Beach Scene, which in contrast to the seascapes was very detailed and full of those familiar Lowry stick figures. Lowry painted it in 1942, but it seems quite timeless. There isn't the slightest hint of World War 2 to be seen, which I thought was curious, but Hilary suggested that Lowry might have been reminiscing about happier times. 

We paused for lunch (in truth it was more like a complete 2-hour halt to proceedings) and paid homage to our seaside setting by eating crab sandwiches with a basket of very yummy artisan chips in the Jerwood cafe. Then we made our way to the Kettles Yard art collection. I was especially taken with a series of paintings by Christopher Wood, who died in tragic and probably self-inflicted circumstances at the age of just 29. We looked at a life-size self-portrait that he painted 3 years before his death (painting below on left).  Hilary thought it seemed a little flat and lifeless, especially in comparison with another painting Wood had done of a young man with eyes as alive and feline as the Siamese cat sitting on his lap (painting below on right). I, on the other hand, was drawn to the emptiness in Wood's expression and wondered what was going on for him at the time (it seems that opium had a lot to answer for).

As Hilary and I were leaving the gallery we got into conversation with the reception manager. We told him how much we'd enjoyed the Kettles Yard collection. 'Oooh what did you think of the Christopher Wood self-portrait?' he asked us with a rather wicked twinkle in his eye. 'Filthy wasn't it!' Hilary and I shot a look at one another. What had we missed? Was it the angle of his paintbrush perhaps??! It just goes to show how people can study a work of art and interpret it in many different ways.... 

Hilary and I said our farewells, and she set off on her long train journey home. In contrast with 40 years ago, I didn't take a bus back to Eastbourne, but after a lovely afternoon with Hilary looking at striking works of art, I felt that same sense of well-being and comfort, and was almost certainly a few pounds heavier thanks to those chips. I thought very fondly of Great-aunt Margaret - sadly she succumbed to dementia many years ago, and I'm especially glad to have taken a trip to Hastings Old Town whilst I'm still fund-raising for Alzheimer's Research UK. This post is dedicated to her. 

I'm doing the sixtyat60challenge to raise funds for Alzheimer's Research UK. For further information or to make a donation please visit my JustGiving page at https://www.justgiving.com/Vivien-Hunot  

If you would like to follow this blog click here for information on how to do so

Task 61: Do a live interview on BBC Radio Sussex

Let me begin this post by saying that even just writing the title has caused a little whoosh in my heart rate. Bear with me whilst I take you back very briefly to my childhood and adolescence.

As I remember it, I was quite confident during childhood. Someone needed to do a reading in school assembly? Tick. Leading role in Wind in the Willows? Tick.  Piano solo at Christmas concert......and so on. Then I moved into my teens and suddenly I grew like Topsy on speed.  With that unexpected growth, not to mention frizzy hair (no hair-straighteners in those days) and breakouts, came chronic self-consciousness (comments like 'Are't you TALL Vivien!!' and 'When are you going to hit the ceiling?' from well-intentioned adults didn't help) and my days of performing in front of an audience were over.

Or so I thought. But when I started training to become a psychotherapist and then went on to study for a PhD, presentations and teaching became part of the brief. And oh how I hated it!! I would do anything to avoid standing up in front of people and talking to a sea of faces, and I became very skilled at avoiding such situations.  When it came to drawing up the list of sixtyat60 tasks, I did wonder about including a task in the Facing Fears section where I would have to do some kind of presentation or speech. But I chickened out....

I was into the fourth month of my challenge when Alzheimer's Research UK decided to do a press release on my antics. I held my breath and started planning some avoidance strategies. One inquiry came through from Splash FM, after which the story appeared to go cold, and I breathed again. Then all of a sudden I was contacted by Fiona Paris, a producer at BBC Radio Sussex (word on the street is that she was tipped off by my saxophone teacher Sarah) and I was invited to their Brighton studios last Tuesday for - wait for it - a live interview.  AARRGGHH........all my old self-consciousness surfaced, my heart rate soared and for a moment I was tempted to say 'Oh such a shame, I'm busy that day and for the rest of my life'. But then I thought of how much this interview would mean for Alzheimer's Research UK. How could I turn down the opportunity to raise their profile and potentially increase funds?  And so I emailed back to Fiona in a faux-relaxed way saying 'Yes I'm free, thank you for inviting me.'       

I arrived at Radio Sussex studios last Tuesday afternoon with my heart sitting in my mouth and my stomach clenched to the size of a pickled walnut. I thought of the kinds of strategies that I might suggest to a client faced with an anxiety-provoking situation:

a) identify someone whom I think would be confident in this situation and act as if I'm them

b) smile (yes, I know that sounds cliched and ridiculous, but believe it or not, it is a tried and tested CBT technique, especially for social anxiety!)

c) picture all the nice things I'd do after the interview - take the dogs for a walk across the forest, have a large glass of chilled sauvignon blanc at the pub, visit the Jerwood Gallery.... 

So I entered the hallowed Radio Sussex studios, smiling away like mad and telling myself I was confident pre-teenager Vivien. What I quickly discovered was that the presenter Joe Talbot was not only very well informed about what I was doing and why (that made so much difference), but he was also extremely skilled at asking the right questions and helping me believe that it was just him and me having a chat, albeit one where we had to wear headphones, which did feel quite strange. Here's a photo of Joe (ignore chef in background - nothing to do with me).

The interview passed surprisingly quickly. I was aware of continuing to feel very anxious, but the anxiety seemed happy to sit quietly tying reef knots in my stomach, and it didn't affect my breathing and talking. I was given plenty of opportunities to highlight Alzheimer's Research UK and Joe also promoted it magnificently. I was asked about various tasks. I admitted to having just had the tiny tattoo done. I explained about Arthur the corn snake. I described the disastrous Anna Ternheim weekend. I identified the saxophone task as my nemesis. And I left the studio having presented Radio Sussex with a jar of Mrs Hunot's crab apple jelly.  

In the past I've tended to engage in a long and critical post mortem after doing a presentation (why did I say this? why didn't I mention that?), so when I arrived home I took the dogs for a brisk long walk across the forest, I got Andrew to take me out for a pub supper (large glass of SB a given) and I had a very fine debriefing pub lunch the next day with my friend Linda. I also started to get excited about my imminent visit to the Jerwood Gallery.  And then the media manager from Alzheimer's Research UK was nice enough to contact me to say how pleased they were with the interview, which was a massive relief and made me feel that it was worth every scary moment. 

So how does Task 61 fit into the above? Well, during my conversation with Joe Talbot, it had emerged that this was my first ever live radio interview and in a quick aside, Joe had joked that it should be added to my list as Task 61. On listening to the interview, my sixtyat60 moderator Miss Lucy Hunot decided that this was a very fine idea.  'Listen Mum' she said, 'That radio interview was far more of a challenge for you than getting a request read out by Graham Norton, it's got to be on your list!!'  I've now complied with my moderator's instructions, and Task 61 is included in a new section called 'Surprising spin-offs'. The great thing is that I can tick it off immediately - hurrah!   I can't provide any photographic evidence, but here's a link to the interview if you're brave enough to listen to it http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p034rp81#play (you'd need to fast forward 2hrs 40min and I think it's available for another 3 weeks).

A very big thank you to Joe Talbot and Fiona Paris for inviting me into Radio Sussex studios - and to Sarah my saxophone teacher for her part in making it happen. Now let's wait and see if any other surprising spin-offs pop up over the next few months - anything could still happen and let's face it, probably will......

I'm doing the sixtyat60challenge to raise funds for Alzheimer's Research UK. For further information or to make a donation please visit my JustGiving page at https://www.justgiving.com/Vivien-Hunot  

If you would like to follow this blog click here for information on how to do so