Thursday 19 October 2017

Buzzing at bingo in Tooting, South London

Bingo? Me? In Tooting? I suppose it does sound a little off the wall. Even if Tooting is one of the ten coolest neighbourhoods in the world. Let's begin at the beginning....  




Over the past 10 months the sixtyat60 baton has been very skilfully and efficiently carried by my friend Caroline Britton, who has been whipping through her list of sixty tasks like a dose of salts. In truth there have been times when I've found myself breathing a silent sigh of relief that I've only had to live a task of hers vicariously through her blog. Go zip wiring? Not on your nelly. Whizz down the Orbit giant slide? Er, no thanks. And I'm not sure I'd have the patience, concentration or intellect to read all of Shakespeare's 37 plays. But for the most part I've read about Caroline's activities with a sense of yearning. Yes, that sixtyat60 mindset of mine is still alive and kicking. So when I was invited by Caroline to accompany her on her 57th task, 'Play bingo in a bingo hall', I accepted with indecent haste.

I have some hazy childhood memories of playing a board game version of bingo with my brothers, which invariably ended in fights.  But I've never in my born days stepped across the threshold of a real live bingo hall. So I was super curious to find out what lay within. In my mind I saw a smoothy male caller grasping a large microphone, lots of dodgy bingo lingo, underwhelming ten shilling prizes, and a room heaving with Nora Baty types, gimlet-eyed, fingers twitching, pens at the ready.....



Caroline had chosen Tooting as the setting for Task 57 because its bingo hall boasts very fine art deco credentials. Originally a jewel in the crown of the Granada cinema chain, the building was designed by renowned architect Cecil A Massey, and opened to great acclaim in 1931. With falling attendance it closed its doors in 1973 and sat unused for 3 years before being resuscitated by Gala Bingo. It's now Grade 1 listed, and quite rightly so, although in truth the exterior does look a little jaded.  


As I arrived at Tooting Bingo Hall last week, adrenaline was beginning to course through my veins. Were Caroline and I about to be humiliated by a gang of great-grans? Or could it be that we were a bingo session away from winning a shedload of dosh?  I ventured into the entrance foyer where Caroline and her husband Peter were already admiring the mind-blowing marriage of art deco design and gothic grandeur. Those fabulous features were in full-on competition with a multitude of prominent and, some might say, garish, Gala Bingo signs telling us to Get Ready for the Bingo Buzz and to Go Go Flamingo. I was strangely mesmerised. What an extraordinary and slightly bonkers place.



Peter bade Caroline and me a fond farewell and left the building to pursue other more esoteric activities. And without further ado, our ladies' bingo afternoon commenced. 



The first step was for us to be registered as Gala members, aided and abetted by a very smiley and helpful lady receptionist in a flamingo pink Gala shirt. We then made our way over to the sales counter, which was headed up by Mustapha, a personable lad nattily dressed in the requisite Gala shirt, embellished by a pink hawaiian garland, florescent-pink wig and a pair of pink lace-edged ladies' pants worn over his trousers, Superman-style (see below - I've spared you the pants).    
  

Mustapha explained that these days many customers play bingo using electronic terminals rather than the old style paper books and pens. Since we had arrived at the tail end of the morning bingo session, we decided to briefly flex our neural pathways and join in with the last two games using the traditional paper method. The Gala booklet explains the methodology far more succinctly than I could. 



We walked into the main bingo hall and paused for a moment in awe. We were standing in the stalls of a vast, neo-renaissance, cathedral-like auditorium. The caller was holding court at a large podium on the stage like a evangelist preacher addressing his devoted flock - although the flock of pink inflatable flamingos draped around his feet slightly diminished that impression.  




The sky-high auditorium walls featured a plethora of grand medieval-style paintings and gothic arches. Fixed to the floor were lines and lines of 70s-style seating booths, which were sparsely populated with bingo fans, mostly ladies of a certain age. Not a Nora Baty in sight though. 



The final game of the morning was about to begin. Caroline and I sat at a booth not far from the caller (who didn't appear to be a smoothy and wasn't holding a microphone) and readied ourselves for an oral onslaught of numbers. Initially I found it difficult to keep up with the flow, especially as my biro was throwing a wobbly, but after a few minutes I began to get into some kind of rhythm. Notably, the caller didn't use any bingo lingo. Not even a clickety click or two fat ladies.  And every so often a hand would emerge from a booth, accompanied by a shriek of 'House!' or some such technical term.    


The session finished and Caroline and I took stock of our progress. We decided that we would use electronic terminals for the afternoon games, partly to ensure that we achieved a complete bingo experience, and partly because that's what most of our fellow bingo players were using. Little point being Luddites. We were in to win! We hunted down two terminals (£10 a piece for the session), ordered bowls of chips, accepted a round of drinks on the house and sat back to familiarise ourselves with our 21st century equipment.


The Main Event began. Caroline and I switched on the auto-dab functions of our terminals. Yes, dear reader, I kid you not, those terminals actually mark off all the numbers automatically for you!! And they tell you how close you are to completing a line/double row/full house. No brain power needed. Just loads of luck. 

The afternoon caller took his place at the podium. 'Six and two, sixty two, a single seven, seven, five and four, fifty four....' he chanted with hypnotic intensity. For the next hour we watched our terminals like hawks. You could hear a pin drop in the auditorium. Sometimes the prizes were just £10. But other times, when we were linked up with other Gala halls across the country, we were playing for prizes of up to £5000. That's serious money.  


Our session was almost over and we remained win-less. 'Right Caroline, this is our last chance' I said. We stiffened our sinews. Off went the caller again. We had no luck with the single row. Ditto the double row. And then a curious thing happened. Caroline's right arm began to twitch. Her eyes became, well, gimlet-like. The index finger of her right hand started to hover over the claim button. And all of a sudden she went into a little frenzy of excitement. 'Oh...oh...'she squeaked, waving her previously twitching arm vigorously in the air. The impossible had happened. Caroline had won full house. A £100 prize was all hers for the taking! How amazingly fantastic is that?



As we left the auditorium, the manager walked past us. 'Well done' he said cheerily. 'Beginner's luck!' he added with a wink. Several bingo customers nearby also offered their congratulations. We were very touched by everyone's warmth, good humour and genuine pleasure at Caroline's unexpected win. 

Is it likely that I'll be lured back to a bingo hall to try and replicate Caroline's success? I have to be honest, probably not, as it seems to me as if the advent of terminals has transformed bingo into a full-on gambling experience, which isn't really my bag. But what an entertaining and enjoyable afternoon we had of it - and what a truly fabulous building in which to experience bingo for the first time. I'm really grateful to Caroline for inviting me to accompany her on Task 57 of her 60@60 challenge and will be thinking of her lots over the next few weeks as she tussles with those final few tasks. I'm especially looking forward to seeing the YouTube clip of your magic trick Caroline ;-)

Caroline's blog can be accessed at http://60at60challenges.blogspot.co.uk/  


One important postscript.....
Caroline's sixtyat60 year comes to an end in early December, and we think it would be wonderful to be able to pass the baton on to a new team member. Are you perhaps approaching your 60th birthday (or even your 65th or 70th?) Are you looking for a challenge to sink your teeth into as you approach/enter retirement? Do you like the idea of writing a warts and all blog? Would you be happy to do a little bit of fund-raising for a favourite charity of yours? If your curiosity is being piqued, do please email me at sixtyat60challenge@gmail.com - I'd be delighted to hear from you.