Task 44: Replicate my ‘night-shift nurse on a rocking horse’ photo

OK, let's make it quite clear from the outset that this task was not my idea - step forward and own up Michael Hunot! Although to be fair, I only have myself to blame for having created this most golden of opportunities for ridicule (again) by one of my offspring.

Forty years ago I was a carefree second year student nurse on night-duty in casualty.  It was 2 o'clock in the morning. Our usual cluster of street drinkers were sleeping off their excesses on mattresses (those were the days), the waiting room was empty and the crash room had dealt with its latest crisis. We were all a bit bored. I happened to have my camera with me. Our staff nurse, an outrageously camp and lovely man, decided it was time for an A&E photo-shoot.  He took charge of my camera and after snapping the night sister napping in an armchair and my fellow trainee Elaine mopping up the final pool of vomit, he decided it was time for me to strike a pose on the rocking horse in the children's play area.  'Come on Viv, throw that head back, show a bit more leg!' he called out, his hand poised ready to click the button on my Olympus Trip 35.  The rest as they say.....

For twenty years the night nurse photo lay in a drawer gathering dust. Then my 40th birthday loomed and Andrew started plotting. At my birthday party dinner, he produced a clutch of pens and some sheets of A4 paper containing a photo. No prizes for guessing which photo it was.....' We're going to have a caption competition!' he announced. After much ribaldry and head-scratching, our guests came up with some inspired and/or saucy suggestions. My friend Gillie won the day (she may well be relieved to hear that we haven't been able to locate her actual words) and had the unfortunate honour of being given a tee-shirt with the night nurse photo emblazoned on the front.

Roll on another twenty years and I made the mistake of asking Michael whether he'd like to propose a task for my sixtyat60 list.  He didn't hesitate for an instant. 'You've got to replicate that nurse on a rocking horse photo Mum' he said.  The gauntlet was thrown down. Task 44 was born.

The first challenge was to find a rocking horse of the design and also the strength (very important that) of the original. Andrew and I sourced one purely by chance. We were invited to a pre-Christmas gathering at the home of our friends Chris and Anne. We walked into their sitting room, did a double take and pretty much ignoring every guest around us, turned to one another and in unison went  'ROCKING HORSE!!'  Yes indeed, there in all its glory was a hand-crafted and solidly made horse of the same design as the A&E original, if considerably more beautiful and well-cared for. And even better, Chris and Anne were willing to let it play a leading role in Task 44. 

The next step was to track down a 70s nurses' uniform akin to the one I wore in my student nurse days. This proved to be quite a challenge, involving endless google searches that mostly led me to websites full of skimpy naughty nurse costumes. But eventually I managed to cobble together an outfit resembling that 2am-scruffy-student-nurse-in-a-cardigan look. And I did at least manage to lay my hands on my student nurse badge.

Last Friday my nursey moment finally arrived. I put on my freshly pressed (but sadly not starched) uniform and instantly felt very guilty for wearing my apron outside the ward environment (an absolute no-no in my day). We drove over to Chris and Anne's house where I tied back my hair and pinned on my hat, whilst the others did some crucial scene-setting (note below the lovingly re-created warning notice stuck on the wall).  Then I positioned myself very carefully on the horse, smiled as best I could given the situation, pulled back my skirt ever....so....slightly......and a few iPad clicks later, Task 51 was in the can.   

Here's the film crew recovering from the experience (Anne definitely looks much more fetching on the horse than I do). 

So that's my 38th task now completed. I'm truly grateful to Chris and Anne for loaning us their fabulous horse and house for Task 44 and for remaining so incredibly relaxed and non-judgemental throughout the whole somewhat surreal process. And Michael's verdict on the replicated photo? I received a text from him earlier today which said, 'If you hadn't have explained it already, I'd have had to ask which was the original!' Although he'd inserted an emoticon wearing a halo, which could well suggest that he's attempting to curry favour with me. Well, it's worked Michael!

One final thought -  if by any chance Lucy's tempted to do a thirty at 30 challenge, how about replicating this photo as one of your tasks Lucy....?

I'm doing the sixtyat60challenge to raise funds for Shooting Star Chase children's hospice care in memory of a gorgeous little girl called Thea Redford. 

For further information or to make a donation please visit my JustGiving page at https://www.justgiving.com/sixtyat60challenge/

If you would like to follow this blog click here for information on how to do so 

Task 57: Have a message read out by Graham Norton on his BBC Radio 2 Saturday morning show

There's no doubt about it, it's a tricky thing to complete a task in which it's necessary to be reliant upon the goodwill of someone you've never met - especially if that person happens to be an A-list celeb, with a flagship radio show listened to by millions, scores of whom probably email/text the show every week. So what on earth possessed me to include Task 57?  Am I perhaps a deluded narcissist? Or was I out to sabotage the success of the sixtyat60 challenge? Well, hopefully neither. I chose it because I'm a huge fan of Graham Norton's Saturday morning radio show - in my book it's up there with I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue (if you ever need cheering up, just listen to Graham and Maria McErlane mulling over listeners' dilemmas in the 'Grill Graham' feature). And after all, sixtyat60 is meant to be, like I say, a challenge.

Four weeks ago I began my campaign to get a message read out by Graham Norton.  I sent him what I thought was quite a nifty email. I mentioned the challenge, the charities, the sax-playing/cow-milking/chicken-plucking/tattoo-tatting, and I wound up with a heartfelt expression of gratitude to my fabulous friends for their support.  Yup, all boxes ticked. Lucy played her part by re-sending the email with a charming covering note. And the result? The email sunk without trace.  The following week I tried a more punchy streamlined approach. Tumbleweed. And the week after that? Zilch. It seemed as if my card was marked. I imagined Graham's team going 'Oh noooo! It's that self-obsessed woman from East Sussex again - just pretend you haven't seen her message everyone.' 

At this stage, it seemed as if a new strategy was needed. An emergency executive committee meeting was held at sixtyat60 headquarters (OK it may have looked like Andrew and I were just having a nice barmeal at our local pub, but this was serious). We agreed that the time had come to co-opt other people onto Task 57, the plan being that they would take it in turns over the next few weeks to write to Graham on my behalf until we achieved that all-important mention. The first volunteer was Linda (my Caterham companion and chicken plucking pal). 'I'll go in guns blazing' she said with admirable grittiness. The Norton baton was formally handed over to her. 

At 10.00 yesterday morning Graham hit the airwaves.  'Have you missed me?' he cried out to his army of listeners. 'I'll never miss you again if you don't read out Linda's message today Graham' I thought to myself. At 11.30, Graham was in full-flow - hilarious as always, but still no sixtyat60 mention.  At 11.39 I sent an email to my friend Hilary. 'People have been wonderful in their response to the challenge' I wrote, 'Although there's one notable exception so far' I added a little wistfully, 'And that's Graham Norton....' 

Then at 12.07, all of a sudden, this is what I heard:

Oh my goodness, Linda had cracked it! Isn't that amazing? I was so surprised and excited that I couldn't remember a word of what Graham actually said. So Linda very kindly forwarded me her winning email, which she'd sent at 6.45am - what a trouper! In case you aren't able to play the video-clip above (thank you to my technical expert Andrew for capturing it), here's her message in full:  

'I would love you to say Hi to my friend Vivien who has shown everyone that life can certainly begin at 60. Since her birthday among other things she is learning to play the saxophone, has started Spanish lessons, read the whole of War and Peace, milked a cow and plucked a chicken and is also a wonderful friend. Thanks. Linda'.  

So are you a wonderful friend Linda - a thousand thanks for your help. I think a new career as Press Officer beckons. 

I'll wind up by saying an extremely huge thank you to Graham Norton and his team for playing a key role - albeit unwittingly! - in my sixtyat60 challenge. And with the completion of Task 57, I'm delighted to announce that the Celeb Moments section on my list is now complete - phew.......



I'm doing the sixtyat60challenge to raise funds for Shooting Star Chase children's hospice care in memory of a gorgeous little girl called Thea Redford. 

For further information or to make a donation please visit my JustGiving page at https://www.justgiving.com/sixtyat60challenge/

If you would like to follow this blog click here for information on how to do so 

    

Task 56: Milk a Moo Man cow

I have a feeling this is going to be a longer blog than most - there's lots to tell you about!   

I'm going to begin by introducing you to Iris, the very special little girl who was my companion on this task. She's 2 years old, she's gorgeous and she's the younger sister of Thea in whose memory I'm fund-raising for Shooting Star Chase Children's Hospice Care. 

I asked Iris at Christmas whether she'd be willing to come along with her grandmother Carol (previously seen heading down the Thames on a Clipper with me) to help me milk a cow. Iris said she was up for the challenge - well, perhaps more accurately, Iris's parents, Annabel and Rob, very gamely gave my idea their blessing. So it was now down to me to source a willing cow....

But hold on a second, just how exactly did the cow-milking task come about?  In truth, it all stems from an appointment with my dentist. As a health care professional with excellent clinician-patient communication skills, he had been asking politely about my then embryonic sixtyat60 plans. 'Do you know, I was listening to an interview on the radio yesterday' he said as I settled into the chair, 'It was with a woman who was doing a challenge a bit like yours, and she described how she'd just tried milking a cow.....' By then he was mid-procedure and I was unable to utter a word in response (you know how it is at the dentist). But in my mind I went 'Aha!' and I shamelessly squirrelled away the idea for myself.  

As I added the cow milking task to my list, I couldn't resist upping the ante.  'If I'm going to milk a cow, it has to be a Moo Man cow' I thought.  Shall I elaborate a little?  'The Moo Man' is a funny, beautiful, emotional, eye-opening observational documentary about a dairy farmer in Hailsham called Stephen Hook and his herd of cows, led by the magnificent Ida (see Ida below). The film shows Steve's fight to establish an independent raw milk delivery service and bears witness to the amazing bond that he has with his cows. The Moo Man was selected to be shown at the Sundance Festival in 2013 and it went down a storm there (the Sundance Festival director called it his 'crazy favourite'). My friend Linda and I saw it at our local cinema in Uckfield a few months later and agreed that it was one of the most touching and stand-out documentaries we've seen in a long time - hence my wish to milk a Moo Man cow. Of course it was an absolute given that Task 56 would be categorised as a 'Select a Celeb' in the sixtyat60 list.

Now as you may have observed from what I've written so far, there was one crucial flaw to Task 56 - I had no idea whether Farmer Steve would be willing to let a complete beginner milkmaid loose on the udders of one of his prize cows. There was only one way to find out. Two months ago I plucked up my courage and emailed the Hook & Son Sales Team, my heart in my mouth (that poor heart of mine does seem to have visited my mouth rather a lot over the last 8 months).  And guess what, in less than an hour I received the fantastic news that Steve was willing to help me and Iris achieve the task. I was so excited!! And after various communications between us over the next few weeks, a date was set for Task 56 to take place.

Last Sunday, the big cow-milking day finally dawned.  Carol and Iris were ready bright and early for their key roles as Task 56 companions, together with Carol's husband, Grandpa Pete, who very nobly agreed at the eleventh hour to be chauffeur, photographer and grand-daughter holder as required. Here are the three of them on our arrival at Longley's Farm. Please note Iris's very smart new wellies and the woolly hat she's purloined from her Bam-Bam (aka Carol).

We were given a warm welcome by Phil (Steve's father), and by Steve, who was getting stuck into the morning milking session.  We took a little wander round the farm before going into the milking section. Iris found some 10-week old calves, who definitely took a shine to her (and to Carol's hand).

Then we returned to the milking parlour to be greeted by a group of very relaxed-looking cows who were already connected to the milking machinery. Steve explained that every cow belongs to its own family within the herd, and is called by the name of its birth mother. Kate is the biggest family (the 200th Kate calf was born recently) and there are other fine-sounding families, including Ida, Rowena, Kitty, Teena, Ruby and Jill. 

 

Once milked, the first group of 5 cows were free to leave and one by one they sauntered zen-like back into the yard. The next group lined up by the machinery and my task started in earnest. Steve asked me to don an apron and gloves. All of a sudden I took on the appearance of a farm hand - but would the cows be convinced??

Steve demonstrated each stage of milking the cows, which I then attempted to replicate as masterfully as I could. Before each procedure I was asked to place my hand on the cow's flank (see photo) to let them know I was about to tamper with their udder regions. The first stage was to clean and dry each teat (did you know that cows's udders have four teats? I certainly didn't - but then I think you're only too aware by now that I have many worrying gaps in my general knowledge). 

Now came a key stage for the purposes of my task. Each teat had to be squeezed manually to remove any milk that might have been sitting there for a while, making it vulnerable to bacteria. Steve demonstrated on the first cow and I then attended to the other four cows - yes, that's a total of 16 teats I had to squeeze! Here's the evidence that I was successful. Just look at that squirt of milk. Well done Carol for catching it on camera.  Was Iris impressed? I like to think so. 

Next came the attachment of vacuum suction machinery to the teats.  I was given the responsibility of attaching the machinery to 'Jill 41', who tolerated my cack-handed attempt with stoic resignation. Her milk began to collect in the glass bottle like magic - such a satisfying moment. After the milk had been collected, we checked her udder to make sure it was nice and soft. Then I removed the teat cups and applied iodine to the teats. Job done!

I removed my apron/gloves, we said our goodbyes to Steve, Iris waved farewell to the cows, and the four of us headed home. 

What an udderly moovellous morning we'd had (just had to pop a pun or two in somewhere). Carol, Peter and I were very struck by how docile, gentle and friendly the cows had been throughout our visit. Steve says that from the moment that the calves are born two rules are applied - no shouting and no arm-waving. Goodness, if only those core principles could be applied on a global scale.... 

And what did Iris think of her visit to the Moo Man farm? What I can tell you is that she was an absolute little star from start to finish. We were very proud of her. Her favourite moment was watching some tiny calves being fed by a mother cow (the little black one on the left was just 5 days old).  Although she was a bit taken aback by the cows' lack of toilet training.

  

I'm truly indebted to Steve Hook and his fantastic team for supporting my sixtyat60 challenge and to Steve for a wonderful visit last Sunday - it was a privilege to witness first-hand the relationship he has with his gang of four-legged girls and as you can tell, my Moo Man cow-milking experience was a memorable one. If you'd like to read about Hook & Son farming methods, produce and services, my suggestion is to take a look at their website at www.hookandson.co.uk/ - it's a really well designed site packed full of info, and you can register to receive regular newsletters, which are far better written than my blog!

  
And finally, the biggest of hugs and a huge thank you to my tiny bovine buddy Iris for coming to the Moo Man Farm with me, along with her lovely grandparents.  Iris's whole family was an absolute inspiration in their care of Iris's big sister Thea throughout her little life. Their devoted love enabled Thea to engage with the world and achieve milestones way beyond anyone's expectations. She chuckled, she chatted, she played and her personality blossomed, regardless of the profound difficulties she was born with.  And I see this same wonderfully devoted love by the family for Iris, who, as this blog shows, is a real joy to spend time with, whether it's showing off her new wellies, bonding with baby calves or singing 'The cows on the bus go moo, moo, moo' very tunefully in Grandpa Pete's car. So this post is dedicated to two small sisters, Thea and Iris, both of whom hold a very special place in my heart. 

 


I'm doing the sixtyat60 challenge to raise funds for Shooting Star Chase children's hospice care in memory of little Thea Redford. Shooting Star Chase provided Thea's parents Annabel and Rob with much needed respite care, support and expertise during Thea's life and offer a vital service to children and young people with life-limiting conditions and their families - they are there to make every second count. Only 10% of their income is government-funded, so they are reliant on upon their supporters' generosity. You can find out more about the work of Shooting Star Chase by visiting their website at http://www.shootingstarchase.org.uk/  And if you'd like to make a donation, do please visit my JustGiving page at https://www.justgiving.com/sixtyat60challenge/  
     

If you would like to follow this blog click here for information on how to do so 

Task 19: Be member of I’m Sorry I Haven’t A Clue (ISIHAC) audience

One of my favourite comedians ever is Jack Dee - described fondly by his colleagues as 'a little ray of sleet', his grumpy deadpan delivery always has me in stitches. Andrew and I went to a memorable pre-tour warm-up show of his in Haywards Heath a few years back, where he (Jack, not Andrew) spent most of the evening trying to cajole the over-polite mid-Sussex audience to do a bit of heckling. In 2009 he became the chair of renowned Radio 4 show I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue and brought a whole new audience to 'Clue' with him. Well, he brought me anyway. I've been an enthusiastic listener ever since, although I realise that makes me a relative sprog in ISIHAC fanbase terms. 

ISIHAC shows are recorded live and sound an absolute riot, hence being a member of the audience seemed a great task to add to my sixtyat60 list. However it's incredibly difficult to get tickets to attend the recording sessions, and so I gave myself the option of attending an ISIHAC touring show, where the frenzy to obtain tickets is a little less, er, frenzied.  In October the news broke that the ISIHAC tour would be coming to Brighton on 30 January. Katherine contacted me in great excitement. Katherine is the very special daughter of one of my oldest friends Sue (see Task 40 where I described the beautiful flowering cherry tree planted in our garden in Sue's memory) and is not only a committed sixtyat60 follower but also an avid Clue fan. What finer companion for Task 15? Tickets were successfully purchased and Task 19 was up and running. 

Last Saturday our ISIHAC day dawned and Katherine and I convened at at an Italian restaurant for a pre-show bite to eat. An idea was beginning to develop small shoots in my mind. 'I was just wondering' I said to Katherine rather tentatively, 'whether we should go round to the stage door after the show and see if we can get a photo of me with one of the panelists - what do you think?'  Katherine's eyes gleamed at the prospect. A tentative idea became a formulated plan in the time it took the waiter to thrust his massive pepper grinder at my bowl of risotto. Wow, that sounds positively Samantha-esque (ISIHAC in-joke guys).

We arrived at the Dome and settled into our stall seats, along with freely distributed kazoos. The show started. Jack Dee was in the chair of course (yay - my anti-hero hero!) To his left were panelists Tim Brooke-Taylor and new boy Miles Jupp. On the right were panelists Barry Cryer and Jeremy Hardy. Colin Sell was at the piano. The lovely Samantha was late as usual. 

Jack Dee's intro on Brighton & Hove was hilarious. My favourite line? 'Thieves broke into Brighton & Hove Albion's trophy room last Wednesday and made off with the carpet'.  OK, maybe you'd have to be a Crystal Palace fan to appreciate that one. Then onto the games. Katherine especially loved the sight of Barry Cryer shaking his hips Elvis-style singing one song to the tune of another. We both laughed ourselves senseless at Jack Dee's parody of Nicholas Parsons in Just a Minim.  Frankly we needed the interval to recover.

As I was calming down my over-stretched laughter muscles during the interval, it occurred to me that perhaps I should take a more strategic approach in my bid to get a photo of myself with an ISIHAC panelist. In my limited experience of such things (such as in Task 55 when meeting Anna Ternheim), I've found that events managers are extremely helpful 'can-do' people.  So I decided to put that theory to the test. The Dome events manager was quickly tracked down (encouraging sign). On garnering some info from me about the sixtyat60 challenge, he promised to have a word with the tour manager.....and guess what, within 5 mins Katherine and had I received the green light to go backstage at the end of the show. We were astounded and very excited (and it certainly proved my theory right about events managers).

The second half opened. My favourite line?  Radio announcement - 'On Thursday evening a documentary will investigate the Duchess of Windsor Mrs Simpson 's problems with sea-sickness - so that's on Thursday evening, Wallis and Vomit'.  Further rounds/more games took place, including the much loved and unfathomably complex Mornington Crescent (ooh they were so mean to newbie Miles Jupp....but he held his own - go Miles). 

The Pick-Up Song game was also brilliant. Katherine especially enjoyed Miles Jupp's rendition of YMCA and Jeremy Hardy's falsetto 'So lonely' by the Police, whilst I was bowled over by TIm Brooke-Taylor's version of Wrecking Ball by Miley Cyrus, especially the bottom wiggles.  Then the audience had to play 'I do like to be beside the seaside' on their kazoos and us 800 bods in the stalls were mortified to discover that the circle sounded far more tuneful than us ('It's just the acoustics' said Katherine comfortingly). 

The show ended to wild cheers and a final rattle of kazoos. Katherine and I made our way to the backstage door as we'd been instructed. The lovely tour manager greeted us warmly and led us through a rabbit warren of corridors.  All of a sudden we found ourselves at the threshold of a room deep in the bowels of the theatre, where much to my amazement the whole panel, bar Jeremy Hardy, was awaiting our arrival. They knew who I was and what I was doing, made suitably soothing noises about my age and asked me some questions about the challenge and the tasks. I tried to sound coherent and enthusiastic about the wonderful evening's entertainment we'd just had without sounding too fawning. I'm afraid I failed on all counts. Katherine kept her cool and took the required photo. Here's the evidence that we really were briefly in a room full of comedy greats - from left to right, Barry Cryer, Jack Dee, a 60 year old woman grinning like crazy, Tim Brooke-Taylor, Miles Jupp and Colin Sell.  

Katherine and I left the panel to their sandwiches and beer and made our way back through the rabbit warren into the open air, where we pinched ourselves and checked the photos on Katherine's phone to make sure we hadn't just dreamed the whole episode like Alice in Wonderland.  And then unlike Alice we had a glass of wine to celebrate. Here we are the following morning clutching our Clue mementos. Look closely and you may see a certain necklace hiding behind my programme (Day 48 - 12 days to go....)

A massive thank you to Katherine for being the perfect ISIHAC companion throughout what proved to be an even more exciting evening than we could ever have predicted. And my sincere thanks to Barry Cryer, Jack Dee, Tim Brooke-Taylor, Miles Judd and Colin Sell (and Jeremy Hardy in absentia) for a brilliant side-achingly funny show and for their support of my sixtyat60 challenge for Shooting Star Chase, which I'm truly touched by. Very importantly too, a special thanks goes to the Brighton Dome events manager and the ISIHAC tour manager - absolute gems both.  


I'm doing the sixtyat60challenge to raise funds for Shooting Star Chase children's hospice care in memory of a gorgeous little girl called Thea Redford. 

For further information or to make a donation please visit my JustGiving page at  https://www.justgiving.com/sixtyat60challenge/

If you would like to follow this blog click here for information on how to do so